Wednesday, 25 September 2013

Burgers and Essays

September, 25, 2013

Agenda:





















Learning how to use citations on your text:













Citation Link:
Source

How to citate:



Expected from you to get an A:

Source

Rubric for your essay:



A
B
C
D
F
Paragraph Content
Descriptions




Paragraph 1: Introduction
Introduces the general topic and the specific topic _______________.


clearly and in an interesting way


clearly and in sort of interesting way


in an indirect and sort of interesting way.


in an indirect way


in an unclear way

Paragraph 2
______ the energy changes involved in the technology a.
_____ its purpose for society (why it was created).


Explains


Explains


Describes


Describes


States


States


Attempts to state
Attempts to state


Omits


Omits
Paragraph 3
_____how the energy change involved caused damage to people and the environment.


_____the specific good points of the technology


Explains


Describes


States


Attempts to state


Omits
Paragraph 4
_______ what was done after the disaster by the local people and the government.


_______ specific bad points of the technology


Explains


Describes


States


Attempts to state


Omits
Paragraph 5: Conclusion
________ the main ideas.  


_______ how similar disasters may be avoided in the future.


_______ how the technology may be used more and/or how the technology may be improved in the future.


Outlines well



Explains & Discusses


Outlines  some of


Describes



Partially outlines


States


Attempts to outline


Attempts to state


Omits



Omits
Writing
Descriptions




Organization
The sentences and paragraphs are _____ to follow and understand.
  • Use thoughtful transitions to connect ideas.
  • Write succinctly. Do not repeat ideas and sentences (unless it’s your conclusion).



very easy








easy









sort of easy






difficult



very difficult



Voice
The voice of the essay is __________.
  • Use details and language to strongly connect with the audience.
  • Do not write in the first person.


scientific and informative


sort of scientific


a mix of scientific and personal.


sort of personal


personal & skeptical
________ relevant scientific vocabulary in context.
  • Words are specific and accurate.
  • Language enhances and clarifies meaning.
  • Precision is obvious by choice of words and phrases.


Effectively uses


Uses


Partially uses


Uses few


Doesn’t use
Sentence Fluency
The sentences are ________ .                                                                                           
  • Writes in complete sentences of varying lengths and structures.
  • Write with few to no grammar and spelling mistakes.


well constructed with few to no mistakes.


well constructed with some mistakes.


constructed with many mistakes.


simply constructed with many mistakes.


poorly constructed with many mistakes.
Citing Sources
Documents _________ sources of information using MLA format.





fully,
with an attempt at using in-text citation, all


fully most


partially most





partially some




few to no

Essay Transitions to connect your paragraphs:


hamburger
Why is it like a hamburger?


  1. The introduction and the conclusion hold the body together.  Without the introduction and conclusion - without the buns - the middle falls apart.  Your essay is just like a good burger; it should stay together.  


  1. Your essay body (paragraphs two, three and four) has the most interesting details in it.  The most flavourful parts, such as the meat and the cheese, go in the body.  The juicy detail will impress your reader.  


  1. The conclusion is the second half of the bun.  The introduction and conclusion are often a little plain, just like the flavour of the buns, but they are essential to making your essay complete.

And, just like a burger, when you sample it, it should be well done.  The pieces should work together to make a good flavour.




General Tips for your making your essay layers fit together to be good:


a) Beginning your paragraphs
Your paragraph should begin with the main idea for the paragraph.



General Tips for your essay:

a) Beginning your paragraphs
Your paragraph should begin with the main idea for the paragraph.


b) Linking your paragraphs
The follow are some strategies to connect your paragraphs:
  1. Use the same words at the end of one paragraph and the beginning of the next paragraph.
For example:
Promising new research suggests algae could be another major source of fuel.
Fuel is stored chemical energy, and plants, including algae…


  1. Write comparisons or contrasts to the previous paragraph.
For example:
Of course, the current major engine fuels are all from nonrenewable crude oil.
Compared with crude oil, algae biofuel has the benefit of ...



For example:
...effectively turning polluted water into a potentially valuable resource.
However, Algae Biofuel has limitations in becoming a successful industry.


For example:
...algae fuels were found to be much less efficient (Stecker).  
Despite the limitations of algae biofuels, further research may address some


  1. Expand on ideas from the previous paragraph.
Since then, the mudflow has covered and destroyed more than four villages including its schools, mosques, homes and streets; 25 factories (Morgan) over an area more than 3.6 square kilometers (Normile), and it has displaced more than 50, 000 people (Morgan).
Much has been done to stop or reduce the damage by the mudflow that lies beside the main highway and railway line in Eastern Java.


  1. Use transition words
    1. To contrast prior points:
      • However,
      • In contrast,
      • Still,
      • Nevertheless
    2. To introduce new points
      • first, second, third,
      • Next,
      • After
    3. To expand on your points
  • In addition,
  • Moreover,
  • Furthermore,
  • Additionally,
  • Also,
  • Then,
  • Therefore,

    Check list for final draft:

    Example of an A essay:

    Biofuel made from Algae?

    Algae, a plant that grows on the sides of fish tanks and in ponds, can be made into an unexpected product: biodiesel and ethanol.  With the problem of limited fossil fuels and the fact that burning fossil fuels puts large amounts of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, scientists and companies search for renewable energy sources, especially sources that put less carbon dioxide into the atmosphere.  Biofuels, most of which are plants, are burned to release their chemical energy.  The most successful biofuel to date is sugar, which is being used to produce lots of ethanol, a business worth hundreds of millions of dollars (“Ethanol Fuel”).  Promising new research suggests algae could be another major source of fuel.
    Fuel is stored chemical energy, and all plants have the amazing ability to convert sunlight to stored chemical energy through photosynthesis.  Algae are a special plant because they have a very concentration of oil, up to 50 percent of their mass, and this oil can be extracted and used to make biofuels for use in car, truck and other engines (Haag).   Furthermore, the non oily parts of the algae could then be used to make ethanol, which could also be used to power engines (Haag).  Of course, the current major engine fuels are all from nonrenewable crude oil.
    Compared with crude oil, algae biofuel has the benefit of reducing “life cycle CO2 emissions by 50 to 70 percent” ("Algae Biofuel Cuts CO2 Emissions More than 50 Percent Compared to Petroleum Fuels").  Photosynthesis in plants, including algae, removes CO2 from the atmosphere.  Of course, the CO2 is put back into the atmosphere when burning the biofuel, but crude oil based fuels do not remove any CO2 from the atmosphere.  Another obvious benefit, as with any biofuel, is that algae biofuel is renewable.  In addition, algae can be grown anywhere because there are algaes adapted to every environment on the Earth.  All they require are water, light and basic nutrients.  Scientists are working with an added advantage that algae can be grown in waste-water from households and industries, effectively turning polluted water into a potentially valuable resource.
    However, Algae Biofuel has limitations in becoming a successful industry.  One is that algae is sensitive to changes in temperature, amount of sunlight, and water conditions, so if the growing conditions do not stay within a narrow range, the algae die (Haag).  In addition, a report from the National Research Council suggested that large scale production of algae would place high demands on water and nutrients (Stecker).  The report outlined that to produce 5 percent of America’s transportation fuel, algae farms would use 123 billion liters of water, “15 million metric tons of nitrogen and up to 2 million metric tons of phosphorus” (Stecker).  Moreover, compared to fossil fuels, algae fuels were found to be much less efficient (Stecker).  
    Despite the limitations of algae biofuels, further research may address some of the limitations to make the process of making Algae Biofuel more efficient and require less water, nitrogen and phosphorus.  Cary Bullock, CEO of GreenFuel, a company that invests in algae biofuels comments on the limitations of the biofuel, “You don’t know until you actually build the thing” (Haag).  Algae Biofuel has the excellent benefits of being both renewable, and able to be produced in many climates and water conditions.  There are thousands of types of algae; many of which have never been tested so the extent of the fuel’s limitations are still mostly unknown.  The biofuel could be a large scale renewable energy that puts less carbon dioxide emissions into the atmosphere, and it’s a fuel worthy of further research and investment.


    "Algae Biofuel Cuts CO2 Emissions More than 50 Percent Compared to Petroleum Fuels." Algae Biofuel Cuts CO2 Emissions More than 50 Percent Compared to Petroleum Fuels. Phys.org, 19 Sept. 2013. Web. 24 Sept. 2013. <http://phys.org/news/2013-09-algae-biofuel-co2-emissions-percent.html>.

    "Ethanol Fuel." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, n.d. Web. 24 Sept. 2013.
    <http://www.sciencedaily.com/articles/e/ethanol_fuel.htm>.

    Haag, Amanda L. "Pond-Powered Biofuels: Turning Algae into America's New Energy."Pond-Powered Biofuels: Turning Algae into America's New Energy. Popular Mechanics, 29 Mar. 2007. Web. 16 Sept. 2013. <http://www.popularmechanics.com/science/energy/biofuel/4213775>.

    Stecker, Tiffany. "Algal Biofuel Sustainability Review Highlights Concerns about Water Supply: Scientific American." Algal Biofuel Sustainability Review Highlights Concerns about Water Supply: Scientific American. ClimateWire, 25 Oct. 2012. Web. 24 Sept. 2013. <https://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=algal-biofuel-sustainability-review-hightlights-concerns-about-water-safety>.


    Working on the Essay:















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1 comment:

  1. Ana Karen,

    I really liked your post! I enjoyed the way you explained everything really well. For example, you would put in what an "A Essay" would look like. Also, you explained why a well- written essay is like a hamburger.

    Next time, suggest that you put less pictures because sometimes a large amount can throw someone off. Also, I suggest would like that you put a little more "personal explanations". By that, I mean that you write more simple explanations, or in your own words.

    Again, nice job! :)

    Marcela

    ReplyDelete

Please write positive comments or constructive feedback in full sentences.